Employee Relations-Dwight Schrute Style! (Reprint)

Jan/13

Employee Relations-Dwight Schrute Style! (Reprint)

by ReThinkHR.org | Leadership, Work, HR & Inspiration by @BenjaminMcCall under Funny, Human Resources

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Can you imagine what your world would be like if you had a Dwight in your office.

Dwight Schrute worships and views his boss as model of success. His ultimate goal it to be 2nd only to him and while Dwight craves authority he also takes the authority even when it is not delegated or given. Sound like anyone in you office?
His almost psychotic following of office rules do not stay within the boundaries of the office. They include those of the Shrute farm, his volunteer deputy status and anything else that he can create from his sci-fi imagination. This is why he would be the ultimate employee relations nightmare. So if you had an employee with the following actions and/or thoughts listed below, how would you handle them?

Adapted from the evil thoughts of Dwight Schrute

ALLIES - If history has taught me anything, it’s that you never count Chuck Norris out, and, most importantly, in any quest for power, one needs allies. Machiavelli knew it; he discussed it in detail in The Prince. During World War II, the Germans knew it; they created the Alliierte (Axis Powers) with Japan and Italy. And the Elves, Hobbits, and Humans knew it when they combined forces to win Middle Earth from Dark Lord Sauron. Now, I, Dwight Schrute know it.

ADAPTING TO UNEXPECTED CIRCUMSTANCES - I learned my company could go bankrupt, causing every employee to lose their jobs. This revelation rocked me to the core - the thought of Jim Halpert getting laid off before I have a chance to get him fired was simply devastating.

CO-CONSPIRATORS - I don’t do well with partners. I almost never figure skate in pairs. At camp, my swim buddy drowned (not my fault he couldn’t keep up with me). However, a co-worker learned of my diabolical plans and forced me to conspire with him against my foe. Now, this solitary predator will have to learn to hunt with another. Ah-woooooo (that’s the sound of me howling like a wolf, the prototypical pack hunter - it’s a metaphorical howl)!

STRENGTHS AND WEAKNESSES - When beginning a highly orchestrated, deliciously malevolent, genius revenge plot, it’s imperative to understand your opponent’s strengths and weaknesses. Failure to do so will almost certainly result in your demise. Don’t believe me? Just ask every single James Bond villain…even the ones with sure-fire plots like hiding a nuclear weapon in a jewelry canister in order to explode it at the circus. Idiots - if they were really serious about world domination, they should’ve taken the time to properly assess James Bond’s abilities (enhanced sexual charisma, weapons & martial arts expertise, English accent) and his Achilles heel (inability to survive multiple bullet wounds to brain).

So if you were faced with this type of employee, what actions or precautions would you take, how would you handle them? What type of intervention and/or employee training would you implement for him and for the others who have to deal with this menace?